Writers Tips

Show Dont Tell

This is a mantra that is often heard in writing circles. There are several reasons why showing is said to be better than telling. The most prevailing are:

 The reader should be better able to remember the information because they have been submersed in it
 The reader feels like they are a part of the action and leading to more empathy with the viewpoint character
 The reader feels as though they have uncovered the information for themselves

In some cases, the reader may actually feel insulted if they have been told information outright as though they cannot be credited to work it out for themselves. For example

Show don’t tell – Example I)

Kevin reported to the training grounds at six o’clock sharp. He milled around with the rest of the men, who like him, appeared to have no idea of what they were supposed to be doing. The commander walked into the middle of the field and ordered them all to get into line. The tallest was to stand at the back and shortest at the front. Kevin stood at the back since he was the largest of them all.

Show don’t tell – Example II)

Kevin heard the sirens blow to indicate that it was six o’clock. He milled around the training ground along with the rest of the men, who like him, appeared to have no idea of what they were supposed to be doing.
‘Right you horrible lot. Get into line. I want to see the tallest at the back and the shortest at the front. Hop to it,’ shouted a uniformed man from the middle of the field. Kevin noticed a pair of stripes embroided on his sleeve. He promptly made his way to the back of the line.

Hopefully, you can observe that Example I contains a lot of telling, whereas Example 2 is the showing version. Not all of the telling is eradicated from Example 2. The writer still tells us that the other men had no idea what they were supposed to be doing. But the mix is now enough to suffice. It removes the flatness from the text.

Note the main clanger in Example I. At the end of the paragraph, the reader is told that the tallest men should stand at the back and then that Kevin is the tallest because he stood right at the back. This could offend some readers because there is easily enough information available for them to work this out for themselves.